Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have post one night stand depression
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize