theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
