She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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