okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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