if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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