Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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