I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
