respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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