i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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