This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Mom said you looked used
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
