My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Mom said you looked used
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
