hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.