The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa