mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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