Texts From Last Night

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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3424) Bad night (818)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.

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  (515): Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life. http://tfl.nu/dizz
  Replies (60) Good night (748) Bad night (5142)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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  (407): I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through. http://tfl.nu/kavy
  Replies (25) Good night (5908) Bad night (659)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10289) Bad night (800)
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  (714): View more from California

  Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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  (714): Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are. http://tfl.nu/u4g1
  Replies (21) Good night (7685) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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  (630): But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them http://tfl.nu/vxlz
  Replies (10) Good night (5484) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.

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  (303): According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool. http://tfl.nu/eu48
  Replies (5) Good night (3190) Bad night (1084)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (1897)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.

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  (260): If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately. http://tfl.nu/6wdr
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.

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  (610): 90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you. http://tfl.nu/qiqv
  Replies (6) Good night (2108) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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  (801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (882)
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  (562): View more from California

  Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.

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  (562): Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers. http://tfl.nu/434l
  Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (514)
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  (310): View more from California

  That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...

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  (310): That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire... http://tfl.nu/4kfh
  Replies (2) Good night (356) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.

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  (540): I just told the sun to stop. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/3xc8
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps

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  (206): I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps http://tfl.nu/78uy
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (111)

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