the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.