The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN