Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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  (248): The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you... http://tfl.nu/gd52
  Replies (11) Good night (623) Bad night (2136)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5217) Bad night (1718)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

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  (773): that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them. http://tfl.nu/o468
  Replies (10) Good night (3858) Bad night (1546)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

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  (830): she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again. http://tfl.nu/v31h
  Replies (17) Good night (1025) Bad night (4719)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate

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  (814): All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate http://tfl.nu/wczm
  Replies (1) Good night (1664) Bad night (869)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine

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  (503): Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine http://tfl.nu/w37w
  Replies (6) Good night (2198) Bad night (798)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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  (520): There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this. http://tfl.nu/ttw7
  Replies (3) Good night (1456) Bad night (813)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2633) Bad night (645)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order

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  (604): In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order http://tfl.nu/d2l0
  Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (522)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

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  (402): In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing. http://tfl.nu/xv1v
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1138)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
  Replies (0) Good night (1396) Bad night (459)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?

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  (602): So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton? http://tfl.nu/2aht
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (481)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.

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  (678): She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing. http://tfl.nu/lgbm
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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  (403): I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb http://tfl.nu/fhfr
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (517)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success

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  (207): I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success http://tfl.nu/p8r3
  Replies (7) Good night (574) Bad night (269)

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