You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize