i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
