Do you still have your period?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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