im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm having to shit out rocks
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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