real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
