I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
