my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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