Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just pee around me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
