Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
