LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you never un-have a 4some
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
