everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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