She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You can't special order awesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
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this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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