dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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