I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
