planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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