the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
