I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Non-Jews are for practice
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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