For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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