You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
