and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
