im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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