I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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