I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
