After last night, I could never be a politician.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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