Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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