Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
