i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
