I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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