Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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