My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wear drunk well.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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