i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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