I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize