READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
