Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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