Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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