too bad you live with your parents still
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
