I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
