Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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