May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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