what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
