It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
