all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
