Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
