**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
