check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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